Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
Randomize
