erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
Randomize
