we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
Randomize
