We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
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