i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
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