did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
Randomize
