No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
Randomize
