i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
Randomize
