i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
Randomize
