I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
