Well I left you a voicemail but you probably won't be able to hear it because my mic is fucked up. I think you need to come down here and take it in for me.
I hate this phone so bad I'm going to lose all of my friends because of it
Yeah...you probably will...
well, you're marked off my christmas card list for next year.
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
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