Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
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