They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
Randomize
