Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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