On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Randomize
