you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
