You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Randomize
