We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
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