Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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