I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
Randomize
