Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
