First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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