I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
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