Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
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