Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
Is that strawberry winking at me??
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
Randomize
