Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
