Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
my liver is dry heaving
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
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