sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
You ruined the universe
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
Randomize
