There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
