Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Randomize
