come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
Such a big mess for such a small penis
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
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