Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
