my mom just threw water on me to get me awake and is screaming "where is my fucking car?!"
you gave me a ride last nite what the hell did you do with it after you left me?
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
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