I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Randomize
