I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
I need a beard to bite.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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