that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
How drunk are you?
Completed.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
Randomize
