Grow some girl-balls and come out already
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
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