I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize