when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Randomize
