It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
