I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
it's too hot outside to masturbate.
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
I need a hoe opinion
go on
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
Randomize