overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
