Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
please come you make the beer taste better
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
Randomize
