Midget sex pt 2 tonight
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Randomize
