Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
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