I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
