Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Randomize
