We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
Randomize
