Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
He passed out mid-signature
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
Randomize
