so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
