so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
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