I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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