Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Randomize
