she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
Please don't give away my fajitas
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Randomize
