I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Randomize
