dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
Randomize
