with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
Randomize
