margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
Randomize
