Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
Randomize
