is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
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