I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize